I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
-Jeremiah 29:11
This day 11 years ago my world was shook. Josiah (my oldest) was less than a month old fighting for his life in the NICU unit. I remember the chair I was sitting in and holding my wife’s hand waiting for the surgeon to give us good news. Instead, he told us that Josiah had a terminal disease called Cystic Fibrosis. My heart sank. Terminal? Disease? No. No No No.
My world was wrecked.
The next following weeks, the more I studied about the disease the greater the grips of fear encased my soul. God where are you? I was a youth pastor for a thriving youth group and it was a tough season to preach on His faithfulness…but I did. I had too. I wanted too. I wanted hope to rise out of all of it. Every week during that season was a lesson on trusting God. I preached that life isn’t pretty at times, but that God is faithful and He loves Josiah, you, and me. Those were powerful times blasting worship in his NICU room and writing lessons in one hand and holding Josiah’s little fingers in the other.
Eleven years later, I still preach to teenagers about trusting God. When you read Jeremiah 29:11 you need to know the context. Know that the people had been beaten, abused, mistreated, and broken. They had been conquered and were forced to leave their homes. Fear had to be gripping them!
It all changed one faithful afternoon. My wife and I came back from the NICU to take a hour break. She went to bed and I went to the backyard and just set on the grass. I had a moment when I asked God to reveal Himself in this situation and He did. My fear disappeared like fog in the mid morning. I began to trust God for Josiah. It was a monumental spiritual transformation. God has a plan. I don’t like it, but I need to trust that there is a purpose behind it. My wife had the same prayer and same peace…how awesome is that? So that night we sneaked anointing oil into the hospital and wiped him and every instrument in the hospital room down. We spoke to death and put it in its place! We declared healing, peace, and trust.
Everything changed that night. The nurses began to be amazed at the quick turn around with Josiah’s health to get him home. Shortly after, he was released from the NICU!
Is the cystic fibrosis still there? Yes. Everyday he is fighting it. Has it taken a toll on everyone…yes. Has it created testimonies…Yes! We have met so many people: new friends, doctors, nurses, and child life specialists through all this and they all have been spoken life too. I’ve been able to witness to so many nurses at 1am during his tune up stays. My preaching has become so much more intentional to teens. My curriculum writing has more depth to it. Retreats are more centered. Writing has become therapeutic. My current management position is focused on encouraging my employees and showing them anything is possible.
My eyes are fixed on Jesus. He is bigger than my current captivity and yours. My heart should not be troubled because so much ministry has come from bad scenarios. I am determined to take each day and live it to the fullest and remind people that we are blessed!
This is my first blog post (earlier posts can be found on the Facebook link) and I think it’s awesome to focus it on our faith. If your heart is troubled, hold your head up high and have a conversation with God. If you are exiled, know that He will guide you back home. Death has no hold on Josiah, but grace does. That same grace is there for you and me.
Eleven years ago I would never have imagined my son would be at my youth retreat and asking to speak to seniors in high school . He took five minutes and laid down a sermon on trust. Yep, God knows what’s up! I was a proud daddy on Saturday! Remember, God has a plan!
I dedicate this blog to remind you of that. God has you. Don’t give up. Instead, walk in His blessings. Your testimony is being created as you read this! Walk it out. Let Jeremiah 29:11 soak in deep in your heart.
Speak Life. Dare to dream, and live the vision.
