Help my Fear and my If’s

“A man out of the crowd answered, “Teacher, I brought my mute son, made speechless by a demon, to you. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, grinds his teeth, and goes stiff as a board. I told your disciples, hoping they could deliver him, but they couldn’t.”

Jesus said, “What a generation! No sense of God! How many times do I have to go over these things? How much longer do I have to put up with this? Bring the boy here.” They brought him. When the demon saw Jesus, it threw the boy into a seizure, causing him to writhe on the ground and foam at the mouth.

He asked the boy’s father, “How long has this been going on?” “Ever since he was a little boy. Many times it pitches him into fire or the river to do away with him. If you can do anything, do it. Have a heart and help us!”

Seeing that the crowd was forming fast, Jesus gave the vile spirit its marching orders: “Dumb and deaf spirit, I command you—Out of him, and stay out!” Screaming, and with much thrashing about, it left. The boy was pale as a corpse, so people started saying, “He’s dead.” But Jesus, taking his hand, raised him. The boy stood up. Jesus said, “If? There are no ‘ifs’ among believers. Anything can happen.” No sooner were the words out of his mouth than the father cried, “Then I believe. Help me with my doubts!”

Mark 9:17-27 MSG

How often do you say “if” when you talk to God about your problems. Unfortunately, I put God in a box all the time. I ask Him for help IF He has the time. IF it’s ok. IF He thinks it’s important. Or I think God will come through IF I earned His approval. As a dad, husband, and pastor I wonder IF He is proud of me.

Jesus clearly says there is no if’s. My problem is I get fearful, even though He says I shouldn’t. Just like the dad in the story, I know Jesus can handle it. I know God has it covered. His Word says He does. I’ve seen demons evaporate when I’ve called upon Jesus’ name. I somehow got into a university and graduated with a pastoral degree from ORU. I’ve seen financial breakthroughs in my own family during layoffs and NICUs. God continues to pour out mercy on my kids’ terminal diseases. Been laid off twice, but bounced back better than imagined. I get to watch some of the pre-teens (now adults) in my first youth ministry…over 25yrs ago…speak life to their kids and this year high school freshmen are still engaged in discussions. Most recently God allowed us to start a nonprofit in the midst of the worst pandemic in the past fifty years. So I know Jesus and His hand in my life.

All that to say, I get this dad from the Bible story. He still has fear and unbelief despite knowing who Jesus is. I’m asking God for the same thing he asked him over two thousand years ago: help me with my doubts. Help me with my unbelief. Help me with my fear. Most importantly, help me to remember who you are Jesus. Help my IFs, Jesus. Maybe, we should ask Jesus for that!

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