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”Don’t water the wrong thoughts.”

I heard that this morning on a podcast. It wasn’t the main emphasis points or his sermon, but that thought had me shook!

Josiah is getting admitted today. This is our fourth time. What am I doing wrong? What am I missing? How will I keep him going mentally and spiritually? Are we losing to CF? How can I keep Levi from being depressed? What about Grace…Annie will be home alone with her Gtube. What if the Gtube breaks tonight? How’s Annie going to work with two kids home alone running around? What will the doctors think? What if they can’t get Josiah’s weight up. What if it’s longer than 10 days this time? What am I doing wrong? Why can’t I have a healthy happy home with no medical equipment? God, why are we doing this a fourth time this year? What about the insurance issues……what about work…what about dinners…what about Hacer210…..how can I speak life through this one, again? Ugh!

That’s the downward spiral I was slipping into while getting ready this morning. It happened so quickly. I took the initial thought of not adding up as a dad with my teenager that is hurting with CF. I took that seed and began to water it and it grew. It grew to a crippling effect.

Then I heard the quote above and I was convicted. Change your thoughts, Robbie. Ok, Daddy. Let’s try this again:

God has this. He picked me to be the daddy of two terminally ill kids that will change the world and be healed. I am a good dad. I am a good husband. I am a good youth pastor and a good manager. I’m taking Josiah to get admitted to get his health back. We will be in the hospital room with 1×1 time and get time to recalibrate together. He’s going to get so much medicine, his body will have to respond. If they give him a Gtube, that’s ok…it’ll get his weight up. I have WiFi so I can work beside his bed. I can do zoom meetings with our youth group. I can work on Hacer210 when he’s napping. I’ll get 1×1 time with Levi when Annie and I swap places. I’ll get donut runs with Grace and extra-long storytimes with Levi. I’m going to get a chance to witness to the nurses again. The revival could break out from a conversation! Josiah will get healthy and have a renewed strength for school. This could be the turnaround point for him.

See the difference? I put God at the center of my mind and watered that seed. As I go to sleep tonight I’m going to prepare myself for his pic line surgery in the morning and more discussions from the medical staff. I’m going to declare His (God’s) and his (Josiah’s) victory tomorrow! It’s going to be awesome. I’m going to water the correct thoughts. I’m going to get ready for the testimonies!

What thoughts are you watering today?